About my book

I feel the need to tell you how wonderful I think this book will be, so I decided to write you a short book report. Usually the western reader is against most short stories, but the ones that I have written are designed in such a way to compliment each other gracefully. 

Most adult readers who pick up my book will be delightfully pleased at the original compilation and publication order. Many of the stories tie in with others that I have written but some are just zany fun. I've found that I like to write a combination of dark tragedy and thrilling humor. It's a fun mix and will keep you spellbound.

Of the twenty eight short stories, three follow a little friend of mine named Koko the Dragon. He's a lovable doofus that just wants to have fun, but he's a dragon too. If you remember Craig Atherton from By the Gates of the Garden of Eden, you may recall that the last time we heard from him, he was stuck at college. He's got a little story in the mix as well. I will write more on him in the future. Such an interesting guy.

There are several stories that deal with outlandish scenarios in strange futures. "Nibblers", "Island at the End of Time", and "Older Twins" are three such stories. I had hoped with these to eventually turn them into novellas, but have not done so yet. Three or four deal with the strange metaphysical aspects that need further exploration. Another set deals with the end of the world.

On the whole, most of my short stories are epical, but I do have one or two lyrical and artifice thrown in for good measure. Technically, I might also want to add that one or two are not short stories at all, but rather flash fiction and vignette in nature. It's a process to be sure, but for the average reader, I will tell you that it reads well.

Whether you are following Kliefel and Orcsnart on their adventures in trying to put out a burning orb workshop or hoping that Sergeant Goraw catches the bad guy, you are sure to get a kick out of it. I've included three longer pieces at the back of the book so you if you have a penchant for the longer story, these three novellas might be right up your alley.

The first of my novellas is a fictitious account of a deceased high school friend of mine. He was a misunderstood guy, a lover of science fiction, and an all-around swell fellow.

The second novella: "Ouesso to Epena" takes us on an adventure with two of our friends from my first novel. Tugg and Hezzy are up to some craziness in the middle of the Congo jungle. They have been hired to survey the land for a possible shipping route. But of course, while they are at it, they will do some independent filming as well. Hilarity and horror ensue.

The third novella is much darker and tells the story of four seemingly unconnected book owners. Each owns a very odd and rare book that is somehow telling the story of one of the other person in the story. Dark by nature and very riveting, it is on par with any "Twilight Zone" episode.

So that's it. Buy my book this coming November 27th. It should be available around midnight or so. A link will be at the top of this blog, but for now, you can go to my amazon page.

How many pages is my book?

Pages? Around 241.

Words? Around 65,000.

Imagination? Around unlimited.

Well, I could write a million more words, but here are sixty five thousand at least. 

Going over and over

Over  and over and over and over and over
Again I go and go
Over the manuscript

Hopefully I am catching
All of the typos

super excited

This week i've been steadily working on getting all of my typos and errors corrected. I'm really ramped up for the realease this black friday. 

How NOT to Put Together a Short Story Collection

How NOT to Put Together a Short Story Collection
By: Amber Sparks

I have this short story collection called May We Shed These Human Bodies that just came out from Curbside Splendor, and I think probably the thing people ask most often about it is “how do you put together a short story collection?” And honestly, I have no fucking clue. But I can tell you that this version of the collection, the version that Curbside Splendor picked up, is probably the tenth version of this collection. It has had other names, other stories, other orders and versions, has been longer or shorter, and at one point in its long history of rejection sat in my laptop’s trash for four months. It has been rejected or ignored by nine publishers in its various forms. So what I can tell you, judging by my own experience only, is how NOT to put together a short story collection – at least, if you want it to be published.

DO NOT say to yourself, Well, I’ve got a lot of stories now, so I guess it’s time to shove them all into a manuscript and send it around. This is not a good reason to compile a short story collection. Are your stories good? Do they complement each other in some way? Do they reflect the very best of your writing? Then by all means, go to it. But be aware: selling a short story collection is very difficult. Editors like novels. Some presses only publish novels. This doesn’t meant that you won’t be able to sell your collection but do not think that this will be an easy task. As a short story writer, you already have an uphill battle to fight. If you’re working on a novel, or have a fantastic idea for a novel, it might be better to just do that instead. If, like me, you are deep-in-your-soul a short story writer, then I am sorry for you and glad for you. Just be prepared for a long slog.

DO NOT treat your story collection like a mix tape. Please dear god no stop do not do this. I followed this advice, or tried to follow it, because I heard it over and over again. I think writers repeat it because they want their book to be as cool as an album. Look. Stories are not songs. Trying to figure out how to make your book like a mix tape will drive you crazy (long short long? Two depressing stories and an upbeat one?) and will be, in the end, completely useless to you. If you really, really like the idea of a mix tape, go and make one for your friend or lover or sibling and get it off your chest. Then go back to compiling your book.

DO NOT include every single piece of shit you’ve ever written in your collection. If your story collection is too short without it, then guess what? You don’t have enough material for a collection yet. No filler. Be selective. I even had to cut some of my favorite stories out of my book because they just didn’t fit anywhere, so they eventually had to come out. I’m sure my stubbornness about that cost me a few publishers at least.

DO NOT send a book full of only short shorts to a publisher. Unless that is all you write, of course, and then I cannot help you. I’ve written a lot more flash fiction than I have longer stories, but have you noticed? People who aren’t writers hate flash. Which is most of the people who you want to buy your book. So if you want to fill your collection up with a lot of flash fiction (and mine has a lot) you have to a) balance that shit out with some longer pieces and b) be prepared for readers to ignore all your flash and only love your longer pieces. Sorry, but that’s just the way it is. Don’t believe me? Talk to your non-writer friends and family and ask them what they think of page-long, two-page-long stories. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

DO NOT misspell the first word of your first sentence of your first story in your collection, and force the poor publisher rejecting you to inform you of this problem. Did this happen to me? Yes, yes it did. And by “happen to me,” I mean, “I was a fucking dumbass who thought I could catch all my own mistakes while writing.” Don’t let this be you. Use Spellcheck for the love of all things holy and good.

DO NOT save the best for last. Save the best for first. Put every single “best” story in the beginning. Frontload that motherfucker and then frontload it some more. Great story, great story, great story, great story – keep them hooked and don’t let them read anything less than your best until at least halfway through. In fact, let all of the stories be your best. Keep pushing the reader in, not letting up, and end on a high note, too. This is another good reason to include only the best stories in your collection. People are distracted and fidgety. Haven’t you heard? We are all A.D.D. now. We are all caught up in the speed of the tubes. Don’t give people a reason to stop reading. Don’t sell that collection until everything in it is the best goddamn thing you’ve even written. And even then, cut the weakest best. Cut more. Write better. Cut more. Write best. Then send it out. Then cross your fingers and toes. Then hope for the best and prepare for the long, slow wreck of the worst.

What about you guys? What have you all learned not to do when compiling a collection of short fiction? How about the poets out there? Non-fiction writers? What rules of the road do you guys try to follow?

cut stories

sometimes, it's sad, but not every story can make it in the book.

here's one -

The Operations

It didn’t matter how many times he let the bones grow back, they always would and he would have to dig them out again. He didn't mind digging them out... or rather would not mind digging them out if they didn't hurt so terribly.

He was just like most humans in the world of life and love and pain... He felt it and he dealt it in occasion. Like Trenna. He had loved that smarmy vixen with all his heart and look where it had gotten him. Trouble. Nothing but. Ah well. He was over her... Mostly. There were still nights where he would wake up humping the body-pillow - but those were less and less since he had started the operations.

Maybe it was the operations that she had hated. He couldn't know. Not since he had killed her.

yeah. i think one day i will publish a flash fiction book. i could put this one in there for sure.

so anyway. i think it's time to eat another bagel. i've got a new batch of "everything" bagels ready. you know, once i went to a place and they didn't put nuts in their dough. what the hey! you should always have a great selection of chopped nuts in your everything bagel. what a shame.

ONE MONTH LEFT

November 27th is the day the book will be live and ready to order.

I am super excited and ready to release "Sometimes I Write Tiny Stories" on to the world.

This project has been a long time coming and I am grateful for everyone's help that chipped in.

It's larger than I expected.

I thought I would get it up to around 40,000 words and call it a day, but I kept finishing off long overdue projects and re-writing sloppy sophomoric attempts.

Now the beast rests heavy at 69,000 words. That's almost double what I intended.

I have already put aside two large stories for a later date.

They were begging to be written and it was hard to say no to them, but I laid them aside for their own novel.

Heck, even the three novelettes I have at the end of this book were screaming out to be expounded upon, and when you read them, you can easily see how it could happen.

Short stories are very difficult to handle.

It's like a minnow.

You know you're fishing, but you catch it and often are disappointed.

We just have to remind ourselves that it takes a lot of anchovie to cover a pizza.

This is a terrible analogy.

Anchovies are hideous.

Nonetheless this book is a quality work and you should buy it.

Buy four of them actually and give them to your friends.

This book is rated PG and should be quite affordable on this coming Black Friday.